So…my teenage daughter texted this picture to us the other day…
I must admit…it is so true in my daughter’s case (literally). My husband had just picked up a bunch of half finished water bottles from the garage and driveway area where my daughter and her friends had been hanging out the night before. And, my daughter has a habit of leaving them around the house. It was a very appropriate and accurate picture!
It also got us thinking. Sometimes we, as parents, tend to focus on things our kids do that are not all that important in the grand scheme of things. We can be too strict and critical of really good kids.
Our daughter is a sweet, easy-going, compliant (usually) daughter who enjoys family time and hanging out at home. She is also a great friend and a cooperative student. She always lets us know her plans, as well as, where she is at any given time. She is not partying, cheating at school, dressing immodestly, or using inappropriate language. She tries her best to walk the christian walk with dignity and grace and to be salt and light to others. We truly couldn’t ask for more.
Have you fallen into the pattern of being too critical of your teen for small infractions? Consider this week looking for the positive things in your teen’s life and letting them know how proud you are of them. Don’t expect perfection. Focus, for a change on the things they do well and on the christian character traits that they exhibit. You will make their day!
Yes, yes! We are in that moment. Particularly with our eldest teenager, butting heads is common. I have a hard time “letting things go.” My wife is better at remaining silent. And my son is very much like you described your daughter–great kid in all respects. So, I’ve had to ask myself if responding to every thoughtless word he utters,or every mess he makes (everyday), or his marginal at best grades, or his lack of responsibility around the house is worth it if it drives a wedge between us. I’m in the difficult process of removing that wedge. Hate that the oldest child has to serve as the guinea pig. Last discussion I had with him, he complained that he was so much better than most of the kids in his school who party, do drugs, etc., etc. He felt like I didn’t appreciate how great he was. And he was mostly right. He was wrong that I did not appreciate him. But, he often confuses discipline with disrespect and lack of love. But I also recognize that through all the discipline and nagging, the message of love can get muffled. So, long-winded way of saying great post! It obviously spoke to me.
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Thanks…glad it spoke to you! I hear what you’re saying…I think it’s something all of us “teen parents” deal with…falling into the rut of forgetting to look for the positive and dwelling on the pesky, but not that important, bad habits. Thanks for reading!